I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do.

I was away for a week.   My favourite part about being away was being so far away from any reminders of you.  Being away from anyone who will talk about you.  Being away from my work that reminds me of you.  Being away from anywhere you can find me.  Being so far away.. just for a little while.. was the greatest comfort I could get. 

Now I'm back.  I'm here to face everyday.. with this battle inside of me I fight every single minute of every day.  I don't know how to think or feel anymore. I feel empty and barren.  I don't know how to feel alive.  How to fix it...  and that makes me so scared and sad.     Baby steps..   that's all I can do.