"But you will come to see that the psychopath is something that your heart can never light up. And you will try. That’s what cognitive dissonance is all about. For months, you oscillated back and forth between the idealize and devalue phases, trying to understand which one was real. You reasoned that of course they loved you, because they said they did. But then you looked at their actions, which did not at all reflect their words. You know intuitively that love is not insulting, criticizing, cheating, and lying. Love does not make you feel suicidal. Love does not mock you for having hurt feelings."